"Through Sex we Remove ourselves from all hurt and fear and Return to Love on the path of True Innocence."
Dear Readers,
Each morning I have been guided to breathe very, very deeply to help integrate myself with my body and into the physical world. Two mornings ago I was doing just that and meditating in the early morning light. I suck air in through my nostrils with a steady strength. My Angels ask me to reach towards feeling as if I am literally *forcing* or shooting air deep into my lungs. "Aim the air in a strong, forceful stream past any resistance from the ego and its hold of fatigue on the body. Imagine that the lungs can expand infinitely in depth, size and strength; that the air can fill you up to the edge of your skin and to the farthest reach of each extremity." As I was doing so I noticed I was filled with such a sweet feeling of pleasure and rejuvenation. The Angels asked me to take up my pen and write. What I was feeling, they explained, was a new vibration that I had just inhaled. This vibration was encoded with a message that I was to write. I picked up my pen, hardly expecting more than a few sentences, but the words exploded through me. What I channeled is below:
Sexuality is deeply sacred and esoteric by nature. We must treat it with deep reverence.
The orgasm is wrought by a continued focused stream of mental, energetic and physical pressing upon the divine source-energy within. In other words, it is achieved by touching the pure, primordial energy of God within and keeping contact and focus with that god-vibration long enough so that it spreads through the bodies. This high vibration shakes the bodies into a state of freedom from old, stagnant energy, refilling them with (or entraining them to) a high new pure-source-vibration. Each contact made with this inner divine source fills us with a fresh and progressively new and higher vibration as we learn and grow.
We hold space for those vibrations in a powerful way through Sexuality. This space is created by way of Ecstasy, or an "out of body" movement from the experience of the lower self into the creation of your body as a pure and perfect, relatively EMPTY vessel of the divine. This surrendering through pleasure to certain emptiness allows God within to course through you and take over-- to fully possess each membrane of the body that makes you up (including lower Earth-bound membranes such as the physical body, emotions, identity, and the higher).
Once this vibration has shaken itself through the farthest extremities to which we can allow it through our mental holding of space and focused engagement, we are brought to a grand and powerful release. That new-born, delivered-straight-from-the source vibration gives a blasting utterance of victory thereby making a lasting imprint upon us.
Its like the high vibrations that touch Earth and make crop circles. Imagine an extremely high vibration moving in such perfect rhythm and geometric harmony that it focuses a certain pressure. Imagine that pressure shaking the Earth, pressing an indentation into its face. Its vibrational match-making with the particles of the Earth creates a movement and a shift in shape.
It is essentially the same as a footprint made in the sand: The particles of your foot move and vibrate. They are held together by the mental output of your belief in your foot's solid existence. In turn the foot possesses a certain density that effects the sand as you walk upon it, leaving a trace of its own image and movement; its vibrational pattern.
Such is how the Orgasm makes an imprint upon your ever malleable, shape-shifting, changing and moving body (and when I say body, I am referring to what you think of as your whole life). Your body is the beach. The orgasm is the foot.
When we come back from the moment of Ecstasy, and again the illusion of self re-animates the form that you are on Earth, you possess the freshness and newness of an infant.
Children are connected so fully to the Divine because they simply haven't been away from home as long. Their bodies thus act and vibrate in the most natural and healthy of human states-- a state of constant, perfect renewal. Children hold onto nothing and so there is nothing stale, stagnant, or growing old with decay in the winds and tides of their force field.
That is the definition of true Innocence: to hold onto nothing. It is to allow all things to pass through you like a clear pane of glass allows the light.
Thus, it is through the sacred sexual act that we return to our Original Innocence. In the depths of sexuality, we are impressed with the shape of the Divine and of our true form.
Sex is a lesson in holding space for Love as the true Innocent does: accepting all, refusing nothing, grasping for nothing, holding onto nothing. Letting all energy pass and move through you. We move like the forces of nature move. Like the Ocean currents, and the air.
Join us again soon. We have a second part to this lesson on how Sexuality is then challenged by the ego and the key to unleashing it FROM the ego. Here there comes a lesson on the cure-all secret to "good" sex.
In my energy work of late I have continued to discover new properties of the energy body and chakra system. The first I'd like to recall was something I discovered during a Reiki treatment I was conducting on a dear friend and fellow singer/psychic therapist. As I worked on her upper chakras I noticed a very distinct anatomical relationship between the throat chakra and the third eye. Of course, all chakras are sequentially connected to one another by a stream of light energy, much like a spinal column. (And I am sure that there are unique connections between each chakra that interlace their parts to allow the energy to flow in a specific way respective to each chakra). But this relationship between the third eye and throat is quite special. In my Reiki patient I saw that the aqueduct between these two chakra centers was an exchange in which subtle higher frequencies received by the third eye were transmitted out and through the voice. The Angels and Ascended Masters I was working with explained that these higher frequencies not only translated as words of insight and wisdom from the third eye through the throat chakra, but also as beautiful resonant qualities in the sound of my patient's voice. They showed me that the beautiful sound of her speaking and singing actually carried celestial vibrations received from the third eye. These vibrations help to entrain the frequency of energy on the material plane around her to more closely match heavenly frequencies. This message is totally in alignment with everything I have been taught about singing and artistic performance: Our creativity and performance are actually direct channelings that truly make a difference in uplifting this world to a more peaceful, loving vibration. Hooray!
Another key observation I have made is that in the head area, there is a whole network of mini chakras linking the third eye, ears, and crown. This network's exact composition varies according to the individual and is influenced by his or her spiritual heritage, or "realm". For example, someone with a lot of elemental incarnations, that is to say, a soul who has spent many lifetimes in the Earth dimension as what we would call "faerie, elf, mer-creature, dryad" etc., would have a different appearance and unique quality to their third eye from someone who has had more incarnations on another plane, such as the angelic, for example.
What I have noticed often is extensions of the third eye appearing as in tryptic form. In my own third eye there are two glass-like pods extending from the bottom of my central eye like liquid leaves (It looks somewhat like this if you can imagine --o0o --). In these extensions are subtle frequencies of and attuned with the earth's vibrations, rhythms, and natural movements. Higher on my brow are smaller glass pods tracing a tiara-like pattern all across my hairline and into my ears. These pods glow deep white-silver and are filled with very pure star essences. They are of the oldest part of my soul's experiences in a far away star system and connect my own energy to the rhythms of the outer heavenly spheres of space. Connecting all of these parts, there is situated a geometric figure of light. I shall not try to describe it, for it is too complex; but I will say that I can sense every line's crossing and every angle has a deep and meaningful purpose. All of this is projected onto an inner screen on the back of my head within which I see psychic visions playing like movies. The exact functioning of the more subtle parts of my third eye I am not yet aware of, but I know that they have everything to do with my eternal knowledge and with the way I sense and experience being. I will certainly continue to update as I discover.
In recently conducting a third eye healing on a student in my shamanic journey class, I noticed similar extensions from the central point of the eye. On her, it appeared as an isosceles triangle. Her guides immediately showed me a past life of this student in which she was being inducted as a priestess of Atlantis. Part of her initiation was a ritual in which she was attuned to a very high new vibration. She placed herself into a trance as a priest traced the isosceles triangle into her forehead. In the realm of my student's past-life trance she was entering a new higher dimension on the spirit plane from which she could command high and powerful ritual healings. My student's guides showed me that she had chosen to keep this isosceles from her priestess days into her subsequent incarnations as a powerful tool for her to use if she so chose. This is a perfect example of how malleable the energy body is. We are constantly shifting and gaining new power and awareness through our energy vibrations, and may indeed choose to keep some of the structural advancements we make.
In another third eye healing on a fellow ATP student, I noticed that her third eye was currently in a powerful state of transformation. Quite naturally (as with many of us during this powerful week of transformations), she was downloading new esoteric information and spiritual power at an incredible rate. Her third eye was asking very clearly for physical purification and only positive loving thoughts to help it grow and adjust to its new high frequency. The third eye is extremely sensitive to the foods and beliefs that we consume. Our beliefs, in particular, very obviously shape our perception of reality. It is important to center our beliefs in the truth of pure unconditional self-love and acceptance as we ALL shift to the new vibrations on Earth.
The last observation I would like to discuss on the subject is the effect of flowers on the chakras. During a recent meditation I was sitting in the middle of a giant bed of peonies not far from a lilac bush. The aroma was so vivacious and freeing! As I meditated I noticed something incredible-- my chakras were dancing and spinning with flower essences. It was as if someone had poured a gentle divine honey-milk into my chakras and kissed them into blissful enchantment. They spun with SUCH grace as if each were a starring ballerina. Their colors blushed into soft nectar pastel hues and twinkled like moony rain-drops. My crown chakra in particular was quite stunning-- it had become a shade of purple like which I had never seen before and sparkled like a wet newborn diamond. I hardly need to say that the sensation of all of this was such a sweet and high pleasure! My chakras had grown lighter with almost no effort on my part. The flowers were doing the healing. I have always found that meditating in nature was a very powerful practice. But I especially recommend the pure sweetness of a flower-healing! Be sure to thank the faeries when you are through.
The Awakening of the elements is upon us. What a beautiful time to be alive.
I have been spending much of my time in the woods, growing with the swampy weeds. There is a herd of deer there with whom I have been growing acquainted. Deer are to the forest like what the dolphins are to the sea. They are so incredibly pure.
A few days ago I sat cross-legged with my guitar on a patch of dry meadow grass and hummed softly to myself. I looked up at the sound of snapping sticks and saw a lovely young doe reaching her nose toward me only a few paces away. I locked eyes with her and still she did not move. She reached forth smelling the air, seeming to try so earnestly to understand me. She circled around me, keeping her radius of distance without looking away. I nodded my head to her and sang softly in an attempt to communicate my respect. She simply watched and stood several minutes, unblinking.
I feel I belong to the forest this Spring. Each morning I awaken with an immediate yearning to go to the nurturing wellspring of life and energy that lies beneath the bare-branched canopy.
I walk in the river bed, planting my feet in the cold rushing water with such relish. I send it all of my thankfulness through my toes. It calls me "Daughter" by name. I soak in the sun and the dirt. I feel such a deep sifting, a powerful mixing and churning beneath the soil of my soul. The forest is one with a deep transformation that is taking effect in my life. It nurtures the transformation. It catalyzes it. It begs the question and gives the answer. It is milk poured over my mind.
I have repeatedly been seeing snakes during my wanderings. Twice now a snake has crossed my path, practically close enough to crawl over my toes. Each night before I fall asleep, the last images I recall holding in my mind are of the snake or of the deer. There is a message in this for me. I hope to understand it soon.
This evening some strange desperate surfacing of emotion propelled me to run straight into the murky depths of the forest. Twilight was descending fast in azure blue against the black silhouette of branches. It was my first encounter with the woods of the Night this year. And Oh, what a truly different place is the forest at night!
Once within the sweet nectar cover of the trees, I felt myself harder, beating each foot-fall with such poignant emphasis. The herd of deer felt me coming and bolted off. I ran after them, enthralled with the speed and the wind, watching their white tails disappear into the falling dark, wishing I knew their secret innocent language.
I slowed my pace and stepped lightly, silently. The forest was humming. It spoke in deep hues, resonant vibrations, coursing voices. A rush of energy brushed right through me, drawing me and pulling me down the path. I sang a song to it in my mind and pressed forward.
The path grew darker, narrower. The trees grew taller. The sky, deep royal saffron. Suddenly, all around me a chorus of footsteps rose. Sensations breathed up my spine, curving all around my body. I sucked in a deep, slow gust of breath, feeling my eyes roll back in the incredible sense. I fell to my knees and looked up. The branches coiled and spoke. So elegant was their prose-- the curve of their tender, delicate buds all a-flame with news.
I shut my eyes and slowly laid back, resting my head in the soft, moist black dirt. The footsteps continued their slow careful dance. In my mind I saw little faces spying at me from behind dead leaves on the ground.
I sent my thoughts into the sky. A beam of light opened from it and descended around my body, engulfing me in a buzzing douse of consciousness. I felt lighter.
In my mind I saw a woman in white walking towards me. It felt so solid and close. I gasped and sat up to see if it were visible in the physical world, but there was only the buzz of faint energy. I closed the valve of my mind to the physical world and looked into the light-layer of the world. Great old spirits swept over and past me in the wind currents. The woods sang with a deep earthy groan.
I stood slowly. I could still hear the footsteps, so many!-- They sounded in the physical world, but there was so movement to be seen. The presence around me buzzed and hummed with teeming life.
I walked. Back down the path I went, making my way out of the woods. I felt as if a train of others walked before and behind me, carrying my energy around me like a swooping veil. In my mind I held a torch.
On my right side, just off the path was a faint teasing energy, a flirtation among the trees daring me to step inside. I glimpsed the space off the path and in my mind immediately saw a gorgeous ballroom of light full of dancing faces masked in trailing leaves.
I stopped. Oh! How I want to go home to you. Do you recognize me? Do I belong to you? Am I one with you? May I come in? .... Ah, please.. I shall wait until I am safe away in my dreams to join your masked revelries in the forest, your reigning in of the spring-time with endless celebration. I shall be there soon with you.
I snapped out of the vision, blinking and peering back into the space I had seen the ballroom. It had been an ordinary clearing in the trees all along, and yet, the faintest buzzing magnetic field of energy seemed unquestioningly to hover. Yes. I am walking the line between the veil...
"Daughter." Said the River one last time as I crossed it, now a shimmering whisper of black.
Even now as I write I am a still love-sick for it. I want to return.
I want to stand in the River in the morning and pray to rejoin the ocean.
I have begun a regiment of cleansing my chakras daily each morning before beginning my day's journey. After having done so for six days in a row I have made some wonderful discoveries that I feel joyfully called to share with you. I must say that I am brimming with gratitude and excitement to have made such new discoveries after years of having been an avid devotee to the practice of chakra cleansing.
I understand now that I can owe this deep new level of understanding this practice to the fact that I do it with unfailing regularity now. Nurturing the practice of cleansing one's chakras and energy system is very similar to nurturing the practice of yoga. If you do it as often and regularly as possible, you find that you will go deeper and deeper into the practice. You continually reap higher and more powerful benefits as you go farther and farther with each Asana. With every practice session you devote yourself to, you become stronger and higher as a whole, creating more lasting and permanent mental, bodily and spiritual results. Chakra cleansing is just like yoga because it re-invents your being; in this case from the starting perspective of the energy body. Just as yoga re-invents the physical body from "bones to skin", deeply detoxifying and strengthening all of the body's systems, so too does chakra/energy cleansing re-invent the energy system, or aura. You are literally transmuting the substance of your being in working light through yourself. You are shape-shifting. You are transcending your own vehicle; attuning it to become an ever higher and lighter instrument.
In today's chakra cleansing I learned a few valuable lessons. The first one was literally a "ground-breaking" realization for me. I have always felt challenged in this lifetime in the practice of grounding myself. I'm not sure that I ever really understood the concept fully, or in fact, wanted to ground myself. I was not conscious of the power and potential in grounding, and so did not understand that there was a good point and reason to ground. Like many Light Workers and Indigos, I sort of liked being in outer space. Its where I felt comfortable, floating in the ethers. Today, however, I was shown at the sacral chakra level that grounding the energy that is streamed through *each* chakra is absolutely key to seeing your dreams and visions manifested on earth. You must ground the energy that whirs and reels through all chakras. The technique I used was to cleanse the chakra-instrument itself, make sure the energy was flowing through it fully and rapidly, then take that stream and visualize pressing it with my hand into a stone or tree or rock. The effect was amazing. I felt this rippling sensation of pleasure and openness. I was still clearly connected to the ethers, but in much better command of my presence. In order to manifest ANYTHING we desire, we must be grounded.
Another lessons I learned followed on the theme of manifestation. I recently noticed that the Crown Chakra is the physical location of all our hopes, dreams and prayers. These dreams are connected into the other chakras by the passions that inspire or "oxidate" the dreams. The passions ripple through each chakra and manifest in the expression of each chakra's major functioning. In cleansing and attuning the crown chakra, it is key to nurture and cleanse your dreams. In order to have a fully functioning high Crown Chakra, we must deeply support our highest dreams. I once heard that to abort your hopes and dreams can be more traumatic than a physical abortion, and having seen the beautiful, delicate state of my own beloved dreams within my crown chakra, I now know this to be true. I saw my own dreams as bands of metallic sunny-purple light, extending from my crown in rays. It is powerful to bolster them with love, care and faith. This makes for SUCH an incredible feeding of the soul for it makes us feel our deepest purpose and highest self worth in relation to the All-Mind. I highly recommend trying this, trust me, you're going to love the way you feel.
Another lesson I learned was that there is an extremely powerful tool in cleansing the chakras that will totally revolutionize your energy system forever: It is to purify and heal all of your human relationships at each chakra level. This too is part of grounding. Much of our earth-based experiences are made up of relationships; our shared experience and consciousness with others. If we can ground our energy in relation to others, we've really built a resilient, sustainable foundation for maintaining energetic clarity. Our chakras are inherently connected to those we relate with. We are married at an energetic level to some extent to each person in our lives. It is important to share pure, loving and unconditionally compassionate energetic cords to everyone, no matter how great or small their impact may seem to you. If for example, you can cleanse and heighten the vibration of your solar plexus, the seat of power, not only in your own auric field, but also in the way your power extends and connects to each individual in your life, then you've solidified and strengthened that powerful peace not only more deeply within your own life, but in the life of the other person too. You've created the opportunity to stay powerful in the face of all human interactions, no matter how challenging these interactions may have seemed before. We are never alone in experiencing the effects of our thoughts and our energy work. It is our divine gift to be able to transmute the world into a higher paradise for all by way of going within to uplift and serve ourselves.
For an introductory guide to chakras and how to cleanse them, I suggest Doreen Virtue's "Chakra Cleansing" book and cd with guided meditation. That was one of the first places I started on my quest with this practice.
I hope to learn and post more on this topic as I continue! Namaste, Joy and Love to you all.
Last night I accompanied my mother to a Reiki 1 refresher class (we are both already certified in Reiki 1). I called on Quan Yin and Archangel Raphael to connect closely with for these lessons in healing. At the beginning of the class, each of us were given a short reiki energy cleansing to set ourselves up for the coming work.
During each person's cleansing, I held space for their healing and called on their angels to surround them with light. When it came time for my mother's cleansing, I saw a thick beam of light pour down from the ceiling straight into her chest. "Thank you, Archangel Raphael for being with my Mom," I thought to myself. "I'm sensing a big Angelic presence!" Said one of the Reiki masters. I smiled. I watched as energy shifted so visibly and clearly around my Mom. When it came time for my turn, as soon as the reiki master touched my shoulder she said "I feel Archangel Michael so strongly!" "Yes," I replied, "He is my closest spiritual companions. Everyone that does energy work on me can feel him all over." The Reiki energy shot up and down my spine. I felt myself grow taller as the energy took over my posture. I closed my eyes. Dizzy magnetic rings whirled around me, intersecting one another to create huge pulling sensations. It was as if I a tunnel of swirling, spiraling rings had formed around me. If I didn't hold on to my feet, I am sure that my body would have begun swaying in circles. My cleansing ended. I sat down. I closed my eyes. I saw my own spine made of abundant shooting rainbow light, absolutely magnificent and luminous with vibrant swimming colors.
Next we went into a guided meditation. The meditation was more like a shamanic journey than anything else. As it began I felt my energy lift SO strongly as to give the sensation that I was floating toward the ceiling. My energy began to spin and spin with such strength that I could have sworn the chair was swirling around, though it must have been still.
I was walking barefoot on a sandy mountain path. I breathed the fresh sunny air in deeply and luxuriously. Oh! What refreshment after all this indoor wintry nonsense I've been living in! I came to a trickling stream and sat in its center, water rushing over me. I took off my backpack and placed it on a rock. I could feel Quan Yin's presence moving through the water. My energy radically shifted: layers of heaviness and toxins lifted up and away from me. I grew lighter and lighter.
From the backpack I pulled out several decks of cards that I was keeping in different pockets. I shuffled them and pulled out cards at random. Inscribed on each card was a thought or experience I held that did not serve my highest health. I was invited to release these. I placed them in a pile to the side. I continued doing this with each card, acknowledging the burden I was being invited to release and placing all of its energy to the side.
I came to a card that was labeled "past life". As I peered into it, I felt as if I had gotten sucked into a movie. I saw myself in a past incarnation as a goddess-like figure in the spirit world. I lived in the rain forest. Hundreds of giant, powerful wild cats swarmed all over me. I was their goddess. I was a powerful being made of high golden light. Connected to my head was a sort of crown made of bands of blindingly bright golden panels. They extended out from my third eye like solid fire. "Courage. Take this home with you." "Ariel?" I called out. "Yes." Archangel Ariel was so close, absolutely dripping with powerful courage. "You need this."
Back in the stream I picked up all the cards I had placed to the side and set them on fire with a branch of sage and a splinter of palo santo. I watched the smoke curl up to the smiling sky. The embers faded becoming soft, pale-white ashes. I released them from my hands into the water.
The journey shifted. I was being introduced to a master who would help me to learn in healing. He stepped out from a white mist... Jeshua! I was a little surprised to see him. I haven't often worked with Jeshua, except in writing. Recently he's been more and more closely part of my spiritual learning. What a wonderful gift. He smiled in such a familiar way, as if I were seeing an old friend. He took my hand and led me up a steep rise in the mountain path. We came to a beautiful golden door carved in Earth. He opened it. Seven golden stairs led upwards. Upon taking the first step, my energy immediately shifted, stripping away layers of denser energies to reveal higher and purer ones. With each step, I was blinded with new fiery light, melting some of me away and adding new light and buoyancy in its place.
At the top of the stairs we arrived on a temple roof top. In the center was a great holy fire encircled by several high spiritual beings. Among them I recognized Quan Yin and Thoth. We joined them. An outer ring of hovering Angels surrounded. I gazed up. Another circle of beings hovered higher still-- giant star people--great super nova intergalactic beings. And higher still, the largest beings I have set eyes upon. I peered at them utterly transfixed and bewildered. "What in the world are you?" I thought. They where so expansive and still and high that my small mental uttering seemed to evaporate at their feet. I gazed below us. A ring of faeries had gathered, collected from plants and places all about the earth in the purpose of healing. The rings riveted with beautiful golden light, linking and shooting their energy upwards and downwards. What a magnificent spectacle! I felt so alive and aware.
Jeshua was opening an ornate box that held a gift for me. Inside was a gorgeous golden key. I picked it up, brushing my fingers over it adoringly. He gestured towards a beautiful brass locker all carved with vines, and unlocked it.
Out of it flew money, away on the breeze. The money felt so dull, frail and meaningless to me in that moment. Jeshua placed his hands on my shoulder, speaking clear and gently into my heart that it was time for me to leave my job. I had been getting messages about this for the past week quite strongly, and had been working diligently at releasing the fearful feelings that came with the thought of leaving my current means of making money. "I never worried about money when I was in a human body," he told me. He showed me images of his life, wandering through wilderness from town to town with no money at all. He said that it is part of the excitement of my mission on earth to learn to take blind walks of faith into the wilderness, trusting that there is always enough support to see me through. "There is no guarantee," he explained, that loads of money would drop from the sky. But he assured me of this: that there are two paths forking in front of me. He showed me that on the path to the left I am led higher and higher into swirling light. "You're going to like this path a lot. Its what you've been praying for us to help you manifest." This was the path whose next step involved leaving my job. The other path in which I stayed at my current job wasn't necessarily bad, but it was not the path in line with my highest goals.
He then took the key and inserted it in my chest. Upon making contact with the key, my body lit up in grids of geometric light shapes. My eyelids closed and became transparent. Giant orbs of light glowed from behind them, electric with geometric patterns. How high, oh, how high I felt!! Jeshua cupped my hands in his. "Place your hands in the fire." "Yes. I will!" I was so eager to show my faith in him. The fire felt gentle and extremely pleasurable. The feelings of pleasure radiated from my fingers and up my arms like tidal waves of serotonin bubbling and crashing over with good news. He gently pulled my hands out of the fire and showed me that they still glowed. They were fully charged and ready to heal. Thank you, Jeshua! How I love you. Thank you for being my guide and teacher.
The rest of the class went beautifully. I gave and received such deep and focused healing. I emerged from it transformed, worlds lighter, and infused with the power to take on the next assignment on my path.
Archangel Michael has asked me to document my recent learnings in performance art.
These new lessons came to me as a result of an artistic journey. Last month I had been steadily working to prepare myself for an audition for the MFA Vocal Performance program at the California Institute of the Arts. Because I don't believe in expending precious energy on "back-up plans", it was the only school to which I applied. Consequently, there was a fair amount of pressure riding beneath this twenty minute audition.
So as in any important undertaking I face in life, I turned the situation over to heaven for support. I gave all direction to Archangel Sandalphon (angel of music) and asked that he appoint plenty of heavenly mentors, masters, and guides to me in every detail of this undertaking. Thanks to Sandalphon, a great assembly of powerful beings surrounded me and watched over every part of my preparation.
I began taking weekly voice lessons with an acclaimed deceased singer in heaven whose name I have been asked not to divulge. This teacher was the most effective teacher I've had to date, for an earthly teacher may only describe with words what to strive for in the bodily instrument, whereas my heavenly mentor was able to simply point to specific places in my mind and body that needed adjusting and fine-tuning.
I also began writing fervently. I had to prepare an artist's statement for my application explaining my highest goals and visions as a performer. The Angels and a few ascended masters worked very closely with me in deeply grounding, analyzing, and expressing all that I passionately believe and aim towards in my art. The result of this writing was to spur a radically deepened mental approach to my presence as a performer.
This is some of what I wrote:
As a performer, I am a shaman. I seek to pioneer the wilds of human consciousness; to weave transformation in our constantly evolving awareness as a means of accessing the soul. We are all points in the great fractal-mind. We are the universe made aware of itself, experiencing the ever spiraling evolution of creation from as many eyes as possible. Art is a medium in cosmic creation, for it is a shaper and a medicine of mind.
Music is one of the most potent synergists of consciousness, for no other thing so closely mimics the properties of consciousness. As a singer I work within the deep intuitive realm of sound’s motion and vibration. Vibration, that most pure and basic element of which all things are made, is the substance of transcendence. Singing is thereby my spiritual practice. It is an empty and pure mental space for moving beyond the self to channel the energy of higher consciousness. The vibrations of music flood and penetrate our very bones and brainwaves. It unifies all minds, bodies and souls gathered to share in it. To perform is thus to mediate in a sacred rite; a shared experience of ecstatic oneness. Shamanism is my mode of performing because performing is my mode of channeling.
My aim as a singer is to explore singing’s most high and radical potential for transformation and healing. I wish to research the metaphysical science of music and how tones might weave a beauty that more than entertains and informs, but rebirths awareness. I believe that a thorough exploration of vocal technique beyond the traditional classical standard are required in such a pursuit. Thus I am moved to include nonwestern as well as experimental twenty fist century musical genre in my repertoire. I also aim to both conceptualize and perform in emerging new modes of opera, music theatre and music ensembles that integrate several forms of art in leading edge thought-movements.
A high focus of my artistry lies in collaboration. In collaboration I aim to share in a movement of art and culture away from the aims of consumerism towards a renaissance of the spirit. Because art is and has always been the informant of substance and meaning in culture, it holds considerable power in facilitating a shift in cultural values. In a time of such long unparalleled change as now, as the old consumer-ridden paradigm already begins to tremble beneath its own weight, it is more important than ever for art to play its part in shaping a rebirth for our civilization.
It is in the creation of experiential integral art events that I seek to explore these possibilities. I aim to facilitate in gatherings of live painting, sculpting, music, theatrics and dance united under common sacred archetypes such as “The Journey of the Wounded Healer”. Artists here may combine their efforts under the concept of a shamanic channeling of transcendence. Emphasis may be placed on experimenting with the use of space and timing to achieve a sense of interconnectedness, leaving little separation between “artist” and “audience”. These events, when held outdoors, shall work to radically collide mind with nature, placing special emphasis on a very specific, conscious use of technology so as to create a space to explore the hyper-real constructs of civilization in juxtaposition with the raw energy of nature. The event is a living being; a web of energy connecting all present. The result shall aim towards something rare and exceptional: a community as opposed to a product. I believe these efforts may evolve as a study in re-birthing rituals of the soul, as first steps in healing a consumption-wounded post-modern culture...
These were ideas I had been absorbing and allowing to marinate in my energy field over the past several years. The idea of performance art weaving light through a unifying web of energy is something I had dreamed of and studied in my experiences deeply. During the summer of 2007 I was in the audience of a String Cheese Incident show. I was dancing and had generally abandoned my sanity for the golden opportunity to embrace my inner savage in a wilderness of spellbound mad people... when I slowly felt myself awakening to a new level of awareness. Gradually I was sensing a beautiful net of light hovering above the crowd. Every single person was attached to this web by a string of light. Their focus was a ball of light that hovered at varying heights on the string in relation to the web. I danced all of my energy *into* the web, feeling myself sprawl out endlessly. This is amazing! I felt shivers of ecstasy run up my spine. The web was getting stronger. It seemed like more and more people were dialing up into it as the music intensified and the dancing grew more heated. The web grew more intricate in its perfect geometric patterning. Suddenly I gasped with the shock of an epiphany. The music was the substance that filled and linked us with this web. On an energetic level we were ALL responding to this unity through music. Not a soul remained untouched or unchanged by it. By God, the possibility that lies here! This music, a living and breathing entity, channels itself through each being with such a power towards higher consciousness. Imagine if the musicians and audience were conscious of this and specifically tried to aim their experience towards this shift!
A half year later I saw Saul Williams performing at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor. He would be the first musician I experienced who was aware of this power in music and did channel it as a ritual in transformation. Again, I became aware of the web of light, but this time, the orbs of each person's focus seemed to mostly be shooting up, up, up into the highest substance of the geometric figures. Beautiful mandalas spurted out from it, raining on the people with sighs of pleasure. Saul often repeated to the audience: This is a ritual! We are all part of it! He urged everyone to dance and to lose themselves in the pounding heartbeat of sound. I could sense hundreds and hundreds of spirits mingling in the audience. So many Angels were present. Towards the end of the show I had drifted to the front of the audience, and transfixed, gazed into Saul's eyes. Suddenly I felt a huge fiery presence all around us. "Kali," breathed a fuming, smokey voice in my head, rich with layers of air and sound. Kali said to me that Saul is like a son to her. And through my eyes I could feel her energy feeding him, adoring him. I left that show absolutely awestruck at the power of the energy channeled there.
I had long since devoted all of my heart to doing this when my time to take the stage arrived. And after having deeply counseled with the Angels on all of the things I have learned about performance, gathering it in my mind and writing it, I knew that a time to soar into the next step had arrived. I would begin metaphysical exploration as a performer now. Sandalphon's counsel of guides suggested that I begin by meditating before each rehearsal and performance. In meditation I absorbed their lessons in energy waves.
They urged me to treat every rehearsal as a performance. Not just in the sense that I try my best and perform with focus and such, but in the sense that I summon and feel all the energy of performing. "Perform to the human energy of the world, not just the empty room," they advised. I realized that in truth, every time a performer takes to her art, it is a real performance with an audience in the sense that the energy we weave through our art always feeds into the earth dimension, affecting everything it touches. Each time I sing, they tell me, it can be like sending out waves of healing into the web of human consciousness. Sing for peace on earth. Sing in praise of the divinity in the human spirit. These are powerful forms of prayer that ripple out touching all. Each song matters.
Also, they advise, become conscious of exactly where you're aiming your performance. For example, every song has a story and is speaking to someone or something specific. A dear friend of mine who listened to me singing once reminded me of this-- to whom is what you're saying directed? Likewise, to what specifically are you directing your performance in the context of the energy web? Locate it. Sense it with your mind. Feed it and feel it change. (Often, I ask Sandalphon's counsel to simply bring the energy of my performance to where it is most needed on Earth.) With spirit as your director, find the energy that wants to take your audience home to god. (And that certainly isn't hard-- such energy as that is abundant in literally everything!) Send your performance into that energy, brighten its light, intensify its vibration, bring the Angels in closer and closer. Closer, until you can reach out and literally touch their soft cheeks with your earthly fingers. Through the art, your audience (whether it be an auditorium filled with people or an empty room) shall at some level come along for the ride. The love of god, that ecstatic joy brimming full with warmth and pleasure undeniable is, after all, highly and deliciously contagious. Your audience will feel it. The Earth will feel it. Heaven will thank you.
Once, after one of my meditations with Sandalphon's counsel, I opened my eyes and saw a shape imprinted in light in front of me. It was a small point, an orb. Through it ran an X of light. What was most apparent about this shape was the four quadrants of space created by the X. "Try singing into this," said one of my guides. "Ok."
I directed my song straight into the center of the orb, piercing it with intense clarity. WOW. It changed the feeling of the entire song. What a leap in focus and artistry! Immediately the orb reacted as if to receive an electric signal from me. It moved, creating a spiral that ran perfectly along the planes of the four quadrants. I found that I could refine the color and frequency of the light in this spiral at a thought. Gradually I became aware that the spiral was creating a tunnel running from my whole body straight into the orb. It was so safe and yet so powerful in there. That simple lesson, though I couldn't explain why or how it works, changed and informed everything about the way I perform now. I use the orb-tunnel every time I sing. The Angels wanted me to tell YOU, so that you could try it out for yourself too! Just visualize it!
Another lesson of Sandalphon's counsel has been that in order to *give* a performance of great and high energy, you must allow yourself to receive great and high energy too. Performers literally *need* to have massive amounts of fun as well as relaxation. And this makes sense when one considers how devoted to partying most musicians and actors are. In the art of belly dance, which I have recently rekindled in my life, it is tradition for a performer to take a sacred bath before she dances for an audience. To me this symbolizes the height of receiving and relaxing. Keep your art high and moving by way of the powerful medium of celebration and self-indulgence.
What works in tandem with this is to surround yourself in a beautiful setting when working in your art as much as you can. Archangel Jophiel puts it this way: you in-spire, or breathe in the atmosphere around you. You become inspired by the substance of your environment. Play with your setting and space to reflect and optimize your ideals in art and you will flourish from within.
There is much more to come on this subject and I shall continue to update you on what I learn as I pioneer shamanic performance. Thank you.
At the turning of the January New Moon I chose to connect with Archangels Haniel and Ariel. I meditated in the morning light and allowed them to sift deeply through my energy, extracting and cleansing deep, aging ego-based thoughts that had been creating imbalance in my energy flow.
As I released and forgave each thought I began to notice a pattern. All of these beliefs seemed to be rooted in my ego's futile attempt to disconnect me from my self acceptance and innocence, which are in truth immutable. In the smallest ways these thoughts and ideas had taken to re-wiring the paths of my inner programming in order to distract me from fully loving and receiving myself in the face of relating with others. I saw so many of these paths moving in the direction of guilt and self-depreciation as a result of other people's social discomfort.
And as I write this, the Angels now guide me to consider that this sense of over-responsibility for maintaining and catering to other people's fear-based social burdens is not just a passing experience of mine, but a collective cultural value. Our culture often praises those who humble themselves and make little of their own needs while skating thin-ice to uphold all the illusions of social hierarchy and judgment. But the Angels say: "Dearest one, this self-doubt leaks forth from your consternation at being socially harmed like a toxic fume around your precious heart. Do not be alarmed that you could ever be judged or dis-valued. Be at peace and know that upon his highest seat of honor, value and worth you are held in highest knowledge of your own true innocence. Place your self value not in the arms of these dysfunctional barriers, but in ours and WE will show you the mirror of your true heavenly worth."
Ariel and Haniel worked such magic in removing these seeds of doubt and crash-flooded every space of my feeling-nature with unconditional self-love. I felt Jesus nearby (whom I prefer to call Jeshua, and will from now on). I focused on his energy, feeling the familiar sense of absolute wonder that his capacity to love always inspires in me. Gently and softly he said "with self Love, all of the Earth's great claims to paradise may be taken literally and seen to fruition." I immediately thought of Jeshua's teachings about "the kingdom of heaven" on earth and understood this with such deep intensity. What he means is true: this 3rd dimensional earth-world upon which we live and create our destinies may be absolved of all fear. Paradise is only a hint away in our psyches now. All we need to do is relax and allow it. All the wonder of Earth's everyday miracles; the falling of rain, the hushing of snow, the correlating of dew-drops, it has all a magic, encoded with the power to see paradise burst forth from within ALL lifeforms on this planet. There is no struggle. No Lack. No Confusion. No Greed. No Hurt. There is only the lavish, abundant peace of the community of all things.
And so it has become clear to me that it is an indelible part of my own as well of ALL of our spiritual purposes to Love ourselves unconditionally. We must all practice this together by fostering a collective psychic space of the most elastic and durable compassion possible. We must seek ever further the strength not to blame ourselves or others. Blame is useless and obsolete on the path to understanding and forgiveness.
Ariel and Haniel wove around me such a gorgeous spider's web of pink and blue lights, layer by layer, throughout my energy field that morning. They mended my inner tapestries, so fragile and delicate. They kissed me and receded into the nearby light to continue guiding me and helping me to adjust to my new-born energy and refined belief system as I went about my day.
The next morning I awoke and noticed a gorgeous fountain statue in the corner of my bedroom. It was made of magnificent pink and magenta-violet light. The light flowed all around the statue in shapes of thousands of spilling flower petals, spiraling upwards and IN the fountain (as if to flow backwards). The Angels shall never cease to amaze me with their expansive imaginings! They so often create such beautiful things specifically tailored to my own sense of beauty just to delight me and grab my attention. How I love them! Anyways, somehow, seeing this fountain in my sleepy state made me immediately realize that I was being called outdoors.
I leapt from my bed and pulled up the curtains from my window. The sun was shining. Oh! What a rare and splendid gift! My mind chattered away with Archangel Ariel as I pulled on a pair of boots and a long coat. I drove to the nearest nature center and ran into the forest.
Oh, Ariel! I know clearly what you meant in taking me here. I feel it! It was a high and fabulous bright energy shooting up from the ground. The air was about ten degrees warmer than usual and you could hear the forest rejoicing everywhere. I ran until I came to a familiar old tree with a great hollow place at the base of the trunk, big enough for me to stand inside and pretend I am part of the tree. I clung to the tree telling it how happy and excited I was to be here with it now. I wanted so much to express to Ariel what this moment meant to me, but I kept stumbling to explain with words in my mind. I ducked into the hollow tree and sang. To my delight, my singing was answered. In my mental space I immediately heard a gorgeous chorus of voices singing with me. We sang a great multi-layered threading blanket of thanks. The melody moved slowly, each part over-lapping the phrases of the others like sweet little lake-waves. The words I sang were complete gibberish but tasted so lovely on my tongue, swirling into the air like a real language.
I wandered the bright forest marveling at the amount of light exploding from everything. For the first times in years, I found my heart swelling with pride and thanks at the winter for giving us the marvelous snow that refracted back the sun beams with such extreme intensity. Why, the forest floor has probably never been so bright as this in the summer!
I kept walking up to trees to touch them and connect to their streams. I sighed, my cheek against a tree trunk. They never complained of the season as I did. Trees are still and spacious of mind no matter what the season. I felt the tree sort of chuckle at me, in a wonderful sort of tree-like way, for my strange doting upon it. It drew my attention towards a giant stick stuck in the crux of its two winding trunks. "You can have that," it seemed to say. I pulled the stick out and upon standing it up I found it to be the perfect sized walking stick. I thanked the tree, full open with admiration and love at its kind and thoughtful gesture and continued on my way. It was a beautiful morning in the woods, but all too short. My fingers and ears began to throb and sting with the cold giving me a numb headache. I returned to the world of humans fully regenerated with resplendent earth energy. Thank you, Ariel. This has been so enchanting and at the same time, grounding. Thank you for these New Moon lessons. I fully intend to nourish these newly planted lessons with love and faith as I move along the spiral.
